Baby, when you get here, I am gonna spank ya!
I am sitting at my desk trying not to puke.
Well meaning stranger: "How far along are you?"
Me: "14 weeks"
Stranger: "You should be over the morning sickness by now"
Me: "thanks for that..." and then I mumble obscenity under my breath.
I especially love it when they nod and smile and say "you're having a girl then..." like it even matters when you can barely pull your head out of the toilet...It could come out with four arms, I would still spank it for putting me through this.
"But it is beautiful, the miracle.....and stuff"
I have discussed in some detail the "miracle" and I wish to death that people would stop saying that to me.
Two nights ago i was sitting on my couch sipping (very slowly) a chocolate shake from Braums...yummy, right? Yes, yes it was...until all of a sudden I decided to projectile vomit it all over my coffee table. I managed to get my hand up to my mouth in that split second, and it acted like a sprinkler, sending vomit-lets scattering all over, including up my nose.
My dog? loved it. It was like a chocolate milkshake shower for her...Like God himself had planned it out for her...
