May 03, 2006

Miss Andi, you suck...

Dear Miss Andi,

Why don't you ever blog anymore?

Because I am sick. Very sick and vomitous.  I started wretching into my purse in the car the other day because I was THAT sick.  Me no feely good.

But, you should blog about it and make it funny for all of US!

No.  I feel like monkey-shit and haven't been funny in weeks.  I will send you a personal notice and let you know when the funny is going to resume.

FUNNY. NOW. BITCH!

I can't do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!  The baby is zapping my funny and making me droll and boring.  I actually sit around and just moan sometimes for fun because everything about being slightly pregnant is so NON-fun right this minute.

The funny is coming, I swear...because there are actually some things that are funny like the fact that my toothbrush is my arch enemy and how I started crying at brunch when they ran out of dessert...(which btw, was totally unfair because I (CLEARLY) wanted one of those and everyone in there saw me staring longingly at it and that waiter should have known better than to fuck with the slightly preggo girl.

Friday is the scary doctor's appointment where we find out the results of all the scary blood work we sent in the last time we were there...eeep! So glad they didnt do a blood test for "two heads, three arms" because I seriously wouldnt' be able to handle the suspense of waiting for the results...

And what is the freaking deal with the Ultrasound Nazi's anyway?  How come I only get one or maybe two at best?  I should get to look at my little tadpole everysinglefreaking time i go in there!  EXpecially if i have to wait an hour in the lobby.  and WHY, OH WHY do they claim that they are so expensive?  My doctor's ultrasound machine was built in 1960 from left over commador 64 parts, and has obviously been paid off for decades, so why does it cost like hundreds of dollars to have her smear KY all over my tummy and hold this little wand there?  That is just wrong.

It should cost like ten dollars.  If I were a genius I would buy a NEW (shocking, I know) ultrasound machine and get a kiosk in the mall.  I could charge like 50 bucks and everysingle freaking pregnant chic that walked by would pay me just to say "hi" to their fetus.  Plus, the machine would totally pay for itself and I could make extra money on the side printing pictures and greeting cards and t-shirts...

I think i am totally on to something here....

Posted by AndiPandi at 15:14:08 | Permanent Link | Comments (5) |
Comments
1 - miss andi, yes you are still very funny--it's just that you don't feel it right now....you had me rolling about the dessert brunch.....and puking in your purse, was it a Gucci? Honey you're a scream---don't stop blogging!!!!! (Comment this)

Written by: just me linda at 2006/05/04 - 09:09:31
2 - I cried myself to sleep when Andiclaus told me they don't have Marie Callendar's in KC and I therefore could not have their coconut cream pie. Even while I was doing it I knew that it was ridiculous, but I couldn't stop. (Comment this)

Written by: Bethiclaus at 2006/05/05 - 18:32:42
3 - interesting blog. take care. (Comment this)

Written by: Warszawa Hostel at 2006/05/08 - 10:20:34
4 - very interesting blog. hope you take very good care. especially with your steve. your going to need it.good luck gril. (Comment this)

Written by: anon at 2006/05/08 - 20:56:14
5 - You have lost your mind, but not your sense of humor...... :)
Good luck on Friday. I'll try to email later this week! (Comment this)

Written by: Em at 2006/05/09 - 16:57:37
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