The Blog Heard Round the World
I am blogging to you today from the comforts of the Honda dealership nearest me. It is so cool!! I was totally prepared to go sit in a tiny little chair in a waiting room covered in dust with a coffee pot in the corner that has coffee literally baked onto it.
Lucky day for the AndiPandi though...Just as i was lamenting forgetting a newspaper or candy wrapper or ANYTHING to read the nice lady at the little tiny cashier window thingie (why do they feel the need to be protected from me? i want to reach through the little round hole and either lick them or poke them in the eye...either one) told me that i could go to the "information center" and play online!! way cool right?
So what are my thoughts while i am in the dealership?
1. Perhaps i should have gotten a four door car...i still could, but then i would look less sporty, but i think that maybe now i am just kidding myself and looking like someone who is TRYING to look sporty in a family car...maybe i ought to just suck it up and get the four door...
2. my brake light wasn't working. wanna know why? because it came unscrewed. it is like my car can sense when i am feeling pretty competent and then it throws this shit at me just to teach me some humility in front of random greasy shop guys...
3. i must say that i am actually pretty impressed with the shop guys here...most are clean, none so far have smelled badly and no one has called me ma'am yet...black eye to the first one that does. I AM A MISS GOD DAMN IT!!!
4. tomorrow is the weight watchers weigh in and by god, i am going to skip it. i am not going to go. i am starting my period tonight or tomorrow (god willing) and i am feeling all bloaty and icky and not wanting at all to be stepping on a scale. the only problem is that you are only allowed to skip once...and the sucky part about that is that i am going to phx this week to see sissy and i am fairly certain i am going to eat like a total pig-woman, ahem, pig-girl while i am there...
5. as a matter of fact, we have already discussed (in great detail i may add), all of the places we are going to eat while we are there. one in particular makes fresh guacamole right at your table!! can you even believe it? well, my opinion about that is the same as it is about liquor...if someone MAKES it for you...really puts their heart and soul into it...it would be RUDE to just leave it there and not consume every single drop (bite) of it...
6. damn weight watchers nazis...i just know that this entire program is some sort of ethnic cleansing for fat people...if the starving doesn't kill us, the projectile shitting will.
7. wow, this honda dealership has great lighting...my rings look sparkley and my eyes look sparkley and if i was a bird right now i would be totally amazed with all of the sparkles!!
