Screw That...Tuesdays Random Ten
I dont know why i feel like red, but i do and i don't want to hear a damn word about it. nor about punctuation or capitalization either....
1. Angelina Jolie: Lips from outer space? Is this a case of Duwop Lip Venom gone awry? At least she has taken to moisturizing them in her latest films...unlike "about a girl" where she just decided that the enormous cracked flakey bleeding lip thing was the way to go...
2. Yogurt and Granola...Yoplait promised on their (highly scientific and not at all subjective) label that if i eat their yogurt i will lose more weight. well so far i have eaten two yogurts a day WITH granola and still no weight loss...i guess it is the alternating of a bite of yogurt and an entire snickers bar...a bite of yogurt and two gas station cappacinos...
3. Went to cartoon movie on saturday by my self...and sat behind the most adorable two year old at his first movie...he was all big eyes and full of animation himself...i loved watching him as much as i loved the movie...perhaps more...
3-b. Can we talk about the achey vacantness of my uterus...god, why do i have to think about crap like that? most women only think of their uterus two days a month and that is to curse it and hope it dies and i am like "protect the uterus"...i swear i was driving the other day and i had my seatbelt on kinda crookedly and i thought "oh shit, i have to fix this cause if i was in an accident, my pelvis could shatter and stab my useless uterus and THEN what would i do?"
4. Weight Watchers....meetings wednesdays at lunch (ironical, no?)...am thinking of going to next weeks one...if i cant start losing any weight on my own, i will at least join a club with other fat people so i can feel loved...
5. My sissy is coming to visit july 1-10. my brother in law (bless his simple little brain) thinks it will be more fun and cheaper if they FUCKING DRIVE from arizona to oklahoma. having driven this, i can say from experience that there is not enough ambien in the world to make this drive bearable...Plus, the cost of gas is going to eat them alive. i found airfare totally affordably, but they would have to leave a day early and no one wants to do that....SUPPOSABLY...the rule of the day is "DO NOT SCARE THE FUCKING CRIPPLE BY TRAVELING THOUSANDS OF MILES BY CAR YOU FREAKS!!".
6. Thursday: Lunch at Ted's!! This is my new favorite soon-to-be-routine!! I laughed so hard at the last lunch at Ted's that liquids actually came out of my nose...i know alot of people say that, but i was not the only one that it happened to...talking about nocturnal farting makes everyone laugh!
7. How can i have blisters and callous on my heels when i have only been using these feet for um...six months...it isn't like babies get callous on their feet when they are two, right? wtf is the deal here?
8. i know alot of these are related to my weight, but seriouly, how deep does your belly button have to become before it is a hazard? i think i am there...my belly button has reached it's maximum density....i am not kidding about the crescent roll thing either my friends...so no one should come near me with a spoon or i will scream! (and then burst open at a velocity nearing 100mph)
9. Going to Tulsa tonight...had so many wonderful thoughts this morning of tulsa whilst i was getting ready...i really loved that city, and it loved me too...was perfect for a socialite on severence
10. the visit with lun-day and mini-jesus is over and thank god, i never had to one get out of seeing them...they kept to themselves and left everyone alone and only harrassed gram...that woman needs to get her application in (in triplicate and .pdf) for sainthood.
