Gah Ten Random Monday Thoughts...Why am I Late to Everything Edition?
Okay, it occured to me at around midnight last night, no wait, it was at three in the morning when the camel/dog had to go outside because of the three GALLONS of water she drank to spite me during the boring re-run athon i was heavily involved with...
1. i live in an electrical forcefield wherein there is no electrical force or fields...The phone, the TIVO (short bus tivo), the modem and my printer are all on strike. the only thing i can surmise is that they were all hit with lightening...even though i have surge protectors! now i am officially scared to plug in my new laptop because the plug ins have fried everything else in the house save the toaster...thank god for the toast.
2. Fool Me Twice...YOU know who you are...and I guess I just have to say that second chances are for suckas!
3. The Chart that No ONE could ever understand...there you have it...there is a chart in existence that i cannot possibly understand and that one of my bosses had to physically instruct me a la "now press the equals sign...". yes. i did go to school for seven years. apparently it was not enough.
4. Thank god for having all of the laundry done...and i even got to do some therapeutic ironing last night...i loooove the voluntary ironing...i even ironed my pillowcases and my sheet...so everything in my world (except my bulbus ass) is extremely flat now...
5. loving my new hair length...looks so thick! who in the world (except emily) knew i had this much hair?!
6. lun-day and the christ child are visiting this city i live in and OH MY GOD if i am not terrified to even to go the mall...would love to be in the presence of the child, but cannot stand the mutha so am going to stay in hiding.
7. i really must stop buying lipgloss...it is not helping anyone and making me poor...so unless there is lipgloss out there that is the reward for making a charitable donation (hahah, sephora actually has one and i am going to buy it right now hahah!)....
8. has anyone ever attempted to use a KOTEX tampon? dear god, it is like one ounce short of an entire pillow...you have to brace yourself with your leg against the bathroom door to even yank the sucka outta your body! unlike the little tampax pearl thingies that are smooth as silk and easily discharged from the interior of your body...it is like the kotex ones are enormous and covered in vaginal velcro...i will never make this mistake again. (unless i am on a long trip and not afraid of toxic shock)
9. i am in desperate need of some girlie time...i hope i get out of brokeness soon so that i will have some monies to buy gas to travel soon....although if that ever happens i may never return...
10. poopface...up at three in the GODDAMNEDMORNING for pottying...i cannot stress enough how inconvenient this is for me...pyjamas and an ambien induced haze and me standing outside with one eye glued shut with allergy-eye-mucous-crap...my poor neighbors...the view they have to pay for....
