So the pregnancy thing, really, at this point? Old news. It is still ongoing...and everything is fine. I want to make a list of my most recent observations though regarding this pregnancy, my body, my total lack of disregard for the privacy of myself and others and some funny things also...
1. My husband has not yet turned smurf-blue from having to "lay off" of the sexual activity...we get to find out next week whether or not one Very Naughty Placenta has decide to rise up and allow it's owner to express her Nympho-tendencies...The answer had BETTER be "yes".
2. We have a new form of forplay at our house. It goes something like this: Steve looks at me and winks..I smile and giggle like a 14 year old and then he, maintaining the meaningful eye contact, goes to the thermostat and turns it down two degrees for me! i swoon...
3. My husband can carve a watermelon without getting a single seed in the bowl for me. AAAAAAND has not complained about having to do it almost every single night....yet.....and he will even crawl into bed and feed it to me when I am falling asleep.
4. He also manages to somehow not laugh maniacally when I fart myself awake in the middle of the night, or when I roll over onto my back and get stuck there waving my arms like a little Thalidamide baby trying to get turned back over on my side.
5. He took time out of DODGERS BASEBALL last night to explain to me what all the different waring factions in lebanon are and why they hate each other etc...was the first time i actually understood what the news was talking about, in approx 5 years.
6. I accidentally got the baby stoned last night...I took some sudafed (under doc's orders, settle down...) and swished it down with an ice cold mountain dew and she kicked me for about four hours straight...Mental note: no more meth-creation drugs for the baby.
7. My idea for a new maternity store where everything is a size medium. why? because when you graduate from that medium to a large, your psyche takes such a hit that you wanna hit the bottle, but of course, you cannot because the cause of your enormity is baking inside you and will die...so my plan is to have all mediums, only just name them different things like "extra medium" and "pretty medium" and "special medium" so that there is no stigma attached to finding your size. i will also, of course, serve watermelon.
8. Someone I work with finally donated to me a maternity swim suit. I have never been more greatful in my life. Now if i can just get that pool installed...
9. Have I mentioned or alluded to the fact that I AM HOT. Not like warmish, I oughta turn the number down a little, but like hot. Too hot to hold hands with, too hot to sit close to, too hot to do anything...and I pant. I pant when I am standing totally still in the sun. We walked precisely ONE MILE two nights ago and I so exhausted that I fell into bed. And stayed there. and was fed watermelon by a handsome man...
