Andi Pandi

Yay for freshly pampered tosies!!

Okay, so I know that this stuff can go overboard real easy, but I DONT CARE! YAY! 

Look at her weeee noggin! and already with the angelina-profile! 

Ten Tosies! 

My sister got back from Belize last weekend!  That is like? Outside of this country!  She and my bro-in-law went to be adventurers and hike through rainforests and see ruins and be a big whitey buffet for hummingbird size mosquitos...

Sissy's poor legs! Good thing the bride's maid dresses are floor length! 

 Aren't they just cute getting ready to go into the spooky cave of doom?

 Aren't they just picture perfect National Geographic Explorers?

So for several months now i have been dropping Very Subtle Hints (read: blatantly obvious hints) to Steve about how important it is that I get an Acura.  Every time we pass one on the highway: "oh isn't that beautiful and i think they also come in blue!"  for months now.

So i went and test drove one today at lunch and you know what they have that my Accord does not have? Nothing.  She was showing me all these features and staring at me blankly when I wasn't in awe of all the different buttons. "look, ooooh la la seat warmers!" Me: "yup, got those".  "but you can open the sun roof TWO ways!!" me: "yup." (her: blank stare, in total amazement that I am not drooling on the steering wheel)

So I guess fate has determined that I always be a middle class, Accord driving soccer mom...BUT with a sunroof that opens TWO ways.

so the wedding countdown is on i guess...a week from sunday we fly to vegas to just "get it over with".  does every single bride feel this way?  it is the curse of the bride...it takes so much planning to pull this off, and your baby keeps making you sick and by the time you get to the alter, you are just ready for a freaking nap already!  well...okay maybe not everyone's baby makes them sick, but mine still does...

In the mean time...we are just relaxing and gazing lovingly into one another's eyes and talking in soft tones and...bullshit.  my dear dear fiance decided that RIGHT BEFORE OUR WEDDING was a great time to haul in the step kids for their mandatory summer visit.  so we are trying to CRAM IN AS MUCH FUN AS POSSIBLE DAMMIT before our wedding...you know...to ensure that we are fully exhausted when we actually get it done.

Then we get back from the wedding and the next weekend are having the big grand mal party here in okc for everyone...i am more excited for all the food than anything else.  i had to COMPROMISE and get a dance floor at this swanky evening event we are hosting, but only under the strict advice that there will be ABSOLUTELY NO CHICKEN DANCING PERIOD. and i mean it.  it is bad enough having to watch a bunch of white guys get out there and "groove" but enough with the hokey wedding dancing already!

The week after that i will rest...but not for long because then...i am going to vail for a work-thingie.  a work-thingie where no one (GRRRR...) is going to make me hike anything...because i am 1)in a bad mood 2) always and 3)am way too pregnant and having a hard time breathing the way it is, without straining myself...oh yeah, and my placenta keeps threatening to go on strike if i do anything more strenuous than eat watermelon.  so it will be a lovely little work-thingie where i sit still.  except for the 47 potty breaks i will take between oklahoma city and vail...and i swear, i can't help those...mostly...it is a totally coincidence that they all happen to be where there are beverages to be purchased!

Then AUGUST...I never thought i could love a month so much...no kids, no huge trips (just one relaxing one to go visit a cousin for a long weekend...loooooow key), and nothing at all to think about except my big belly. and presents...lots of wedding presents to open and exchange and wash and love...and pray that they don't get broken...maybe i will just wait on that until september, you know...to save up some of the fun.

Okay alright already! sheeesh!  After much demand (okay two requests is not really a demand, but still...) I have found the camera, uploaded the pics and put them here for your insanity!

Okay this was like er, about the beginning of may we'll say...cause neither steve nor i (both have extensive college educations, can figure out how to put the date in the camera).

Lets call this one "mid may" although it still may be closer to the beginning, because those are NON Maternity pants and even though I sat there with them unbuttoned under my desk all day long, they were on and they looked normal. (ish).

Okay, now THIS was two nights ago...TWO FREAKING NIGHTS AGO PEOPLE!  I swear if one more person asks me if i am having twins i will come right out of the booth! No, there are no twins in there, just one little girl that likes to have lots and lots of space to swim around in.

This is the end of week 17...which is interesting because we got pregnant in march right? so like how did we enter a timewarp that allows us to create extra weeks in the spring?  well, it is actually a mystery of medicine that i don't understand.  Okay she told me this though: when you actually conceive, they count you as two weeks pregnant already.  and even though 17 weeks SEEMS like it should be 4 months, it really isn't, because gestational months only have 28 days and real months have 30 or 31...so each month we loose two or three days, right?  so you cannot safely assume that 17 weeks is four months and one week, it is like three and a half  months or something?  WTF?  This, I can safely say is the most confusing part of this entire deal.  So, steve and I have decided to do it this way:  we are going to count from the back.  So the due date is november 19th, right?  That means we have approx 5 months left, which means we are 4 months into it.

Either way, we are thrilled to death and the morning sickness even seems to be giving up and looking for greener pastures, so things are looking good.  aaaaaand, i picked up my wedding dress the other day and when i wear it? i dont even look pregnant!  It is a freaking miracle.  Although if I keep growing at this rate, it won't fit in three weeks when we leave!

Everything is fine.  That is about all I can say.  Moved into fiance's house last month and that is exactly all the progress I have made towards nesting...Boxes to the sky hamper my view of my surroundings, but all five maternity outfits hang in the closet and my make-up has been located, so I am at least able to go to work and come home and go to bed...

Went to the doctor and found out that we are having a girl!  How did i find this out?  Well, it turns out that if you are spotting and having cramps in your 15th and 16th weeks, that they are very excited to give you an ultrasound!  (And they also do that low-talking, fast moving around crap that scares patients TO DEATH!).  Not to worry, it turns out that everything is fine...Just my little placenta (you have to love how affectionately I address that nasty mess) is very low in my uterus...so I am a borderline Previa case...which means "take it easy" and not in a Jack Johnson, laid back surfer dude kind of way, but in a "sit thy ass on the couch and put your feet up" kind of way...makes it very hard to get anything done around the house.

The only preparations we have made for baby is...well...none.  My sweet sweeeeeet cousin in charlotte sent me a beatiful stroller and car seat from peg perego that her son used for like a day before he outgrew it!  Saved us about 500 dollars!  If she weren't so far away and my butt weren't glued to the couch I would kiss her cheeks!

Wedding prep is going well..I called the people at the Bellagio (where we are marrying, I figured that Vegas is the only place on earth that a big pregnant bride can stretch a white dress out over her non-virginal preggo belly and walk down the street without getting stoned. (not high, rocks...and not rocks of meth or coke, but stones...whatever)So they are being very sweet to me there except for one thing: The God Damned Buffet.

I told her I wanted to have my reception at the Buffet because that way everyone gets exactly what they want (not shriveled up chicken with a dry roll and lukewarm green beans) and AS MUCH of it as they want!  PLUS, everyone knows that it is the best buffet on the strip.  So when Molly Nose in the Air Wedding Planner heard that I wanted to have my reception there, she actually laughed: "most people choose a more elegant venue for their reception"  to which I replied "well, ma'am, we are Okies and I am pregnant and I need to eat as much as possible, so we want to have it there" and I could hear her snickering in the background...bitchasshomutherfucker.

I will have it there and I WILL eat as much as I want and I MAY even balance my plate on my big belly while I am waiting in the line!  So there vegas.  Take THAT!

This is about all I can bear to report as there is nothing else even remotely interesting going on in my world.  sorry it took me so long to even post this much...Lovie lovie!!