Andi Pandi

For your monday pleasure, i have accumulated a little group of what i can describe only as "yikes" monday thoughts....

1.   Wedding gown shopping...is it possible to feel anymore princessy? no, the answer is no.

2.  gwen stefani, i love you, i know we're cool.

3.  this weekend to missouri to see daddy?  and, also...the first time in missou since january...will seem strange to return there, no?

4.  friend's hasty dismissal of wedding glee...

5.  weight watchers: self deprivation in full force.  initial weight: 152, unofficial weight at my office: 145, scale at gram's: 144, in my mind though i feel light as air...so even though i have to eat mocklate-coated, ground up vitamin tablets in bar form...I guess it is worth it...because....

6.  when i get ready for the babies next year, there will be less to lose, right?  yeah right...(have you ever seen me suck down a strawberry milkshake?  how about four?)

7.  tomorrow: training course for work: irb...could there be anything more boring?  the answer here is also "yes" because last year i had to take a two day 12 hour training course on the new HIPAA laws...insanity...all to learn "don't look, don't read, and if you happen to do either, for god's sake, don't say anything".

8.  possibly running away to arizona for labor day, but shhhhh, it is a secret...although, once i hit "publish" here, i guess it is a secret no more, eh?

9.  could i be less creative? the answer here is no.

10.  hurry laine and get that tuscan villa...i need somewhere to go, where all this dieting will be well worth it!!

kisses, pretties!

Gwen Stefani, I bow before you a humble servant of your blonde-ness and grace....

Good lord people!  Have you SEEN (?!?) the new video for the single: Cool?  Oh good god...it is like she channeled my inner diva on this one, people...I think the aggressive bleacher needs to be nominated for a golden globe for this performance...I actually thought I could cry when I saw her getting vaklempt...

How could I have ever thought that the Harochuku girls were going to kill her career?  This single redeeming video has inspired me to put my big fat red lips back on...Marilyn herself would have said "er, I think that I need to get a little more polished here...."

In the summer of 1996, my anthem was the No Doubt single "Don't Speak"...must have listened to that little ditty, i don't know...ELEVENTY times?? and i was all "oh, i have no idea why they are giving her such a hard time about always being the spotlight...she writes AND sings all the songs and they just stand behind her and jam..."  now i am sayin "lose the posse, gwen".  You don't need the stinkin' back-up swaying guys or the japanese freaky girls...

after all that we've been through...i know we're cool...

What do you call a girl who has not eaten enough in the last three days to EVER feel full?  why, you call her a deranged, psycho bitch...unless it is me, and then you better not say that because i will rip your head off!!

weight watchers....grrr....i have never been so consumed with numbers in my life and i am a god damned MATHMATICIAN!! 

i am fairly certain that pounds one and two have come off of breasts left and right respectively.

i have to say that if i get down to 125 and am not able to keep it off, i am going to fucking freak out because i can never, ever tolerate this type of self-deprivation again.  i stil have 30 of my 35 bonus points left to get me through tuesday at midnight.  so i am going to treat myself to a couple tacos later in the weekend...

yummy recipe for weight watchers:

cheesecake filled strawberries

1pkg low or reduced fat cream cheese

1/3 cup of powdered sugar

2 teaspoons of lemon juice

mixy mixy mixy

cut the tops off of 44 strawberries and sort of dig the centers out a little.  fill the holes with the cream cheesey stuff from above then roll the top in crushed reduced fat graham cracker crumbs...can eat 4 (!!) for one point.  which means i can have 12 for 3 points and that is what i leave for my evening snack.

how pathetic is this?  in college i sat down several times a semester with a friend of mine and ate an entire cheesecake from perkins.  now i am measuring my cheesecake ration in teaspoons.

Attended first W.W meeting yesterday with dear darling work friend...i thought i was enthusiastic, but she is WOAH! wow, really really excited to get thin.  i was more excited to sit at home last night and determine how many nights a week i can still eat at taco bell and actually lose weight...i swear, if i can eat there and lose weight then everything in the universe will be okay.

Did the very fancy and intense "weight loss food shopping" last night and again today...is VERY difficult.  have to THINK as i pick things up and put them down and compare etc...makes me crazy...the only thing that keeps be going is, well there are a few things...

1.  that little tiny shiny blue bikini that i WILL WEAR AGAIN.

2.  the closet full of new clothes from harolds that i bought to start my job last year before i killed the guy in the yukon and ended up in the chair for five months.

3.  i can still eat chocolate and IT TASTES LIKE ACTUAL CHOCOLATE.  yes, whitmans and w.w. have teamed up and made it so i can still have coconut bonbons and lose weight.

4.  the fact that no one thinks i can do this.

There you have it...those are the reasons i am going to lose weight.  (bikini being number one...always).

I should mention also that i am going to be keeping track of my weight/loss on here each week.  i weigh in on wednesdays at noon, so look for good/bad news that afternoon!  please send all your warm fuzzies this way and EAT MORE, so that if i fail at this i will look better by comparison...

i hear ya...it has been a long time since i posted blah blah blah...the important part is that i dont really care.  i have been trying to think of something interesting to write about and have yet to come up with anything substantial that would not give away a dozen secrets etc...

Going to enumerate my thoughts today as they are all so fleeting that it would make for monster reading if not numbered.

1.  Weight Watchers begins tomorrow.  Weight as of today (before the taco bueno and the three heath bars and the cookies from the nice drug ladies downstairs) 150 on the nose...at least my body has a sense of even-ness about it...I am giving myself until October 30 to lose 20 lbs.  this is 15 weeks...so just over a pound a week is all i need to get there...i should rephrase this also to include a size 4 or 6 again so i can actually wear the beautiful harold's suits i bought before i started this new job and got in the wreck and sat in the chair and gained all this weight.  so even if the number is like 133 or something, as long as i can wear my size 4 and 6s then i am good.  currently? size ten.  except for a-line dresses, which i can wear a 6 in, but only because all of the weight is in my ass and not in my boobages at all...i am imagining that pounds 1 and 2 are coming straight off of the girls anyway...sad to see them go...

2.  money drama...why is there none all the time? why?  grrr...oh and the super great attorney (read: fuckwad) who is handling my case is on vaca for the last two weeks...or last week and this week, howeve ryou want to look at it...he is not handling anything right now except probably underaged drunk girls who are hiding out from hurricane emily in his suite...paid for by MMMEEE!.  also...fucker.

3.  you know when you somtimes tell your parents something and then cringe and wait for them to stop beating on you and then other times you tell your parents something scary and then they just say they are so "disappointed in you"  and then there are other times ( which i did not know existed) where you tell your parents something that is potentially upsetting and they just smile and say they "knew all along"...hmmm...how sweet....and i would imagine that this is a one-time-good-deal with the Amazing Grudge Holder and my dad.

4.  got out of the vail trip...yippee!!!  so that freed up some spending money this month...citibank will be so happy to get even one dollar more than the minimum payment due...

5. and  ooooooh the fabulousness that is my hair...good lordy...my sista hooked me up!!  i feel so blonde and cheery and a little ditzy all at once...although still with the same underlying edgy rudeness as always...

6.  ooooh so many delimmas about the loss of freedom that is my apartment.  i just know that i am going to be expected to throw out all of MY stuff, which means i will have to have a secret mini storage on the side that i sustain for years and years and occasionally visit...i am really so sad about this because i have lovely taste and am not looking forward to living in a camping lodge full of man-o-bilia. (this includes the bedspread manufactured by heidi fleiss's own bedding company: Brothel Linens and Things...you would think it would be the "things" portion of the shop that would scare you, but this bedspread in all of its maroon-ness and tassles and fringe is proof that the linens are the scariest part.

7.  if i were allowed to think about or talk about or write about wedding plans, i would say that i am looking forward to a blue wedding...like navy and a lighter periwinkle together...will be lovely and beautiful, i hope...stilll not sure about the "where or when" of the whole affair, but they certainly have to allow me to bring my own alcohol or they can just go and bite me.  we are irish and irish people drink and irish people do not pay at a cash bar for said drinks.

8.  the mass evacuation of the chocolate from my desk drawers/cabinets/shelves/secret hidey places around my office...damn weight watchers.

9.  boobs or lasik eye surgery?  so many many decisions for a girl that cannot afford her minimum monthly payments to anyone...hmmm...what to do, what to do?

10.  the second coming of the christ child occured last week...apparently mother (milk-factory) and baby (aaaaaa-ahhhhhhh--angel chorus) are both fine and  if i am lucky at all, i will be able to avoid her with this one also.

blah blah, promise to be more prompt with the writing of the shit and stuff.....