Oh Holy Shit.  I made the monumental mistake last night of steping on a scale.  It would have been more effective for someone to simply kill a puppy right in front of me...the depressive episode was the same...

I am in my biggest big girl clothes and am so disgusted with my wheel-chair booty that I can barely tolerate myself.  You know you are truly getting too fat when you think to yourself "my underwaear are going to actually cut through the fat on my hips and strangle my pelvis".  I have likened this effect to a can of pillsbury crescent rolls...when I take my clothes off at night, it is like the can popping open and the dough (my fat ass) oooozing all over the place...  MY PANTIES ARE KILLING ME!!!

I dreaded having a work meeting for lunch today because I (literally, no exaggeration here...) cannot fit into any of my cutsie pie little tiny work-type clothes...It is so disgusting...My mother's remedy is to go buy the tightest pantyhose available and just wear then under everything...This makes me want to simultaneously kill her and myself...

Not only that, but my face is enormous...It is like there is no where left for the fat on my ass to spread to, ad now it is going into my cheeks and my neck and my multipying chins...God forbid I get pregnant at this juncture because i would end up weighing over 200 lbs.

This now means that I must faithfully return to the gym...even though that proved to be utterly useless also, at least I can say that I am going and then when I go to the doctor begging for obesity drugs, they won't give me SUCH a ration of crap as usual.

You know Kirstie Alley?  Yeah, well I am getting to know her on an entirely personal level now...I am going to soon find myself thinking "oooh, what a lovely moo-moo she is wearing on her show today, I wonder where I can buy that much material in such a bright and obnoxious color?"

My response to the depressive incident last night was to bake a double batch of chocolate chip cookies...and eat the raw dough off my fingers...and maybe cry a smidge...and then eat some more cookies...but I am better now...

Send me your favorite moo-moo patterns girls...