worrywart
Went to the OB yesterday. Found out that little Sophie's head is not engaged in my pelvis and that she is (stubbornly) looking to the side. Little monkey. Not dialated, not effaced, not anything moving in the Get The Baby Out department...even at 39 weeks.
Doc decided we should just do a c-section. She (kindly) offered to let me labor, but told me she thought I would recover faster if I just skipped all that nasty labor crap and got right down to it.
Most people would be relieved, I on the other hand, have to have SOMETHING to worry about, so this is it:
- what if i die?
- what if i am too stoned/delerious to remember the first moments with my little girl?
- what if i bleed too much and have to have a hysterectomy?
- what if everyone is so consumed with the baby that they forget about me?(or, because i am a total freak: what if no one pays attention to her and she gets sent to the (God Forbid) NURSERY? gah!)
- what if i can't nurse because i am too stoned/delerious/not equipped/not able?
so as you can see, i am INDEED out of my fucking mind...per usual...so I guess things are essentially status quo around here.
tomorrow this time=babyrama!
