Ass Alarm
Last night my hubby came home after spending most of the week in Texas. So I finally slept well...You know, that sort of restless "what if something happens" type of sleep that you get when you are the only one in the house? and for me that also includes some variation of "who will force me out of bed and make me go to work in the morning?" type of panic.
So last night I slept well...all curled up next to Steve.
I heard him get up and use the potty in what I perceived to be the Middle Of The Night. and then he came back and i was all warm and cacooned up until my ass let go of the biggest fart ever. so big in fact that steve actually shook or flinched or dodged or something!
So I start laughing hyseterically and then it occurs to me: THE ALARM NEVER WENT OFF, I AM LATE TO WORK!! (yes, a small voice in my head did say something like "eh...they prolly won't fire you TODAY....") So I sprung out of bed "you didn't tell me you shut the alarm off!" (like forcing the blame on him was going to turn back time...)
So I stagger off to the shower, sort of half laughing about the Fart Alarm and half crazed that I will be late to work...
Steve? Face down with his head in the pillow...I presume he was laughing like a maniac that his wife's ass just alerted her to the fact that she will lose her job if she does not respond to the resounding clap of thunder emminating from it...
